How could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes, or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store? What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more....

merry Christmas!

i love this girl!!

her name is Kelsey, and here she is!









scandalous!!

daaa beach

So here's some beach pictures for all of you that want to be like "oooh the beach woooow ooooh aaaaaaaaaah!" it's NC, not cali i know but oh well.




this is my cousin Ella


here's my three beautiful sisters


and my youngest sister, she's amazing

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

ok so i know i've been pretty much dead to the blogging community, not that i was really ever alive in the blogging world. anyway i'm done with my summer at CWE and i figured i'd give you guys an update, if there's anyone who still reads this. FIRST of all i'm really pissed i didn't get to go to Cali with you all. really i'm more upset that i didn't RSVP and say i couldn't come. sorry >_< i was looking at the pictures of your wedding on Janice's blog and wow. my eyes almost (almost) welled up b/c you're both so beautiful and God brought you together to live amazing lives for his purpose.

MM so working at Camp War Eagle was pretty great. i think the lesson that i thought about most this summer was learning to live in the day, live in the moment for God, and not spend so much time looking to the future. Kid's lives were changed, counselors lives were changed, so all in all a good summer for camp. the leadership at the camp is amazing, i blame them for following God so closely and really making a difference.

i'ma stop here and post a bit later. i'm going to school at Arkansas this year by the way.

double u tee ef?

ok so since i never really blog i figured i'd stick something in real fast telling you where i am this summer. i'm working at a camp called Camp War Eagle. it's brand new, first year, and definetly one of the nicest camps in the US (funded by Alice Walton, that's walmart for you canadians). it's a Christian sports camp and it's for underpriviledged kids from NW Arkansas and 79% of them are here for FREE. so... anyway i'm working here pretty much all summer then going back to the University of Arkansas. i can't talk on my cell phone at camp but i have about 1 day off a week so if you call and leave me a message i might call you back if i'm not asleep.

www.campwareagle.org

o glorious day!

"At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split. The tombs broke open and the bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. They came out of the tombs, and after Jesus' resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many people. When the centurion and those with him who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exlaimed, 'Surely he was the Son of God!' "

"The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for i know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now i have told you."

To Him be the glory both now and forever! Amen!

i read your comment, this picture is for you:

Azərbaycan

Spring break i went to Azerbaijan with 3 other guys. there's so much i could post about it, and i honestly don't really feel like typing that much right now BUT i'm gonna post some pictures, and i may type up some of my journal entries that i kept while i was there. it was an amazing trip, God is amazing.

camera

i got a digital camera the other day as an early birthday present (i payed for a lot of it too :X cameras are expensive)

this is what it looks like:



and this is probly the first picture i took with it:



more to come...

Don't feel bad all my foreign buddies in America. If you ever get down just think of this guy:

omg... teh bbq!

too many posts

this is like 3 posts in a row but whatever. i busted my eye playing frisbee yesterday. it's cut right above and all swolen it's awesome. basically the frisbee bladed into my eye, i made the defensive play of course though.. i just thought it'd be cool to try it with my eye though.

but feel free to post on all of my recent posts. don't feel restricted to just the most recent. blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

for all of you northerners

it snowed like 4-6 inches here today. everything's covered in snow. i honestly don't like snow here though.. i like it in places in the north because it's more fun but here it doesn't stay long and all of my friends are out of town so i just kinda look at it.

oh yeah, well, my daddy died with a needle in his arm

So i gave plasma today, which was all around way less painful than i thought it'd be (i'm scared of needles.. probly a good thing). anyway i just kinda looked down at this big metal sharp tube and thought... is he gonna stick that in me? then before i knew it he did and it didn't hurt at all. but i was really dehydrated because i didn't consume enough water this morning or last night... then i went and played ultimate frisbee after my plasmaing. i'm pretty tired. two of the nurses hit on me a lot. they were pretty cute. actually they probly were just friendly and i like to imagine that they were hitting on me... but one of them definetly went out of her way to comment stuff at me while i was talking to other nurses, and she called me cute for something i did.. ANYWAY i'm not hooking up with random nurses, though nurses are a good choice of girls to hook up with. the point is it was fun giving plasma and i thought i'd hate it.
yay because God made it fun since He wanted me to give plasma and i was trying to put it of/not do it.
so.. um.. end.

This is how we know

Love the Lord
Love others

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. -Mark 12:30

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. -1 John 3:16

it's peanut butter jelly time peanut butter jelly time peanut butter jelly time

Do the peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly,
Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat!!
Do the peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly,
Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat!!

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/peanutbutter.html

=X

i think i wanna switch to xanga b/c you can put a music video at the top. i bet you can do it on this too since you just copy the scripting.

every time i see her picture my eyes well up.


God is Good
i'm so in love with Him.

k

ight i got a new phone.. yay.

!!!!

someone send me pictures from new years. or i'll get my broadsword and cut all of your families.

edit: also someone was able to get my cell numbers onto my sim card off my phone memory so once i get a new phone i'll have all the numbers yay

um..

i don't see my latest post on here but i know it was up... so maybe blogger deleted it... anyway all it said was that i dropped my phone in the toilet and now the skank doesn't work and i've lost all my phone numbers! woo!
the end

winter frost

so the jr high retreat for the cell group that i lead was last weekend and it ooowned. we had tons of fun and our cabin time was great. the guys really opened up and, while they coulda gone and played dodge ball, several chose to stay in the cabin and continue talking about God and their lives more specifically. i hit a realization that all the experiences in my life, good and bad, give me a wealth of knowledge and wisdom to share with others. i simply close my mouth and let God talk. anyway it was fun, it was cool. my little sister was there also and i relish opportunities to lift her up, encourage her, and just have fun with her. i just pray that some of the kids there last weekend become revolutionaries for Christ.

OHHHHHH... YOU KNOW!

zomgz! i woke up at 7, SEVEN am (in the morning) this morning. i decided "i need to start waking up earlier and making more of my days." a night of tossing and turning and a sleeping pill later i woke up at 7.

I had breakfast with my dad, went to the HPER where i ran and worked out some (i felt kinda sick b/c mochas and working out don't mix well), had lunch with one of the UBC youth pastors, checked out guitars at Sigler, worked out the cell lesson to teach to my guys tonight, and started my Perspectives lesson.
i've never accomplished so much before 3 pm!

but then my perspectives books caught on fire, i dropped my cell lesson in a bucket of ink, Sigler music erupted into a volcano, the UBC guy spontaneously combusted, my legs fell off, and my dad evaporated.

FACE.

i made a facebook. really, it's just b/c everyone i know has one (peer pressure!!!!). anyway i don't have any pictures uploaded on it at the moment but i will soon. if you wanna check it out here it is http://arkansas.facebook.com/profile.php?id=20615819


when i insert a link it doesn't work for some reason, so just copy and paste that.

hah! there i put it in my links on the side. (you have to log into facebook to see it)

matthias replaces judas

where do you find the love to offer he who betrays you?
and offer to wash my feet as i offer to disobey you,
your beauty does bereave me, and how my words do fail,
so faithfully and dutifully i award you with betrayal,

the weak and the down trodden fall on broken legs,
as i walk past a smile i cast, fervor in my stead,
but my bones like plastic, do buckle backward now,
i lay in this field by Judas' bowels and anticipate the plow,
i can not be forgiven; my wages will be paid,
for those more lovely and admirable is least among the saved,
and where would i fit Jesus?
what place is left for me?
the price of atonement is more than i've found to offer up as my plea,

Jesus my heart is all i have to give to you, so weak and so unworthy,
this simply will not do, no alabaster jar, no diamond in the rough,
for your body that was broken, how can this be enough?
by me you were abandoned, by me you were betrayed,
yet in your arms and in your heart forever i have stayed

Your glory illuminates my life, and no darkness will descend,
for you have loved me forever, and your love will never end

-showbread

.. and follow me

I've decided to drop out of college.

woah woah andrew wait think about what you're doing, you don't wanna close doors before you've looked inside them. It's ok! All semester i'd been thinking about my dissatisfaction with school and i immediately circumscribed it to me simply being lazy and God wanting me to have more discipline and just get through it. And i believed that. I was being lazy and simply disliking school for selfish reasons. However just because i was disliking it for the wrong reasons doesn't mean it's where God wanted me to be. "It's God's way or not your way." well it wasn't God's way, and it wasn't my way i can say that for sure. I've prayed about it and listened to God and i finally said alright, i won't go to school this semester. Quite honestly i'm scared to not go to school because i have no idea of the future. This is the first time in my life i've been scared about the future, but i'm at peace, content, and even excited about it, because i have to trust in God. The securities of a degree, a job, and money, these things aren't what God wants me to be relying on. "every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots" (matt 15:13). i KNOW that this is where God wants me to be and what he wants to be doing with my life.
so what am i gonna do now? go home (i'm in seattle still), get a job and work until i go to Azerbejian with Mike Compton (friend and missionary), then i don't know. Something that's been floating around in my head is going to the torchbearer's spring school in Japan or Costa Rica, and staying there and working possibly in a church. Or maybe i'll stay in Azerbejian i have no clue, but one thing's for sure, i know i'm letting myself go and letting God take me where he wants.

i'm quite scared shedding my securities like this. but what a principle concept in christianity that "whoever wants to save his life will lose it"

There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off. - Prov 23:18

Divine Goodness

"To experience the love of God in a true, and not an illusory form, is therefore to experience it as our surrender to His demand, our conformity to His desire: to experience it in the opposite way is, as it were, a solecism against the grammar of being."


"When we want to be something other than the thing God wants us to be, we must be wanting what, in fact, will not make us happy. Those Divine demands which sound to our natural ears most like those of a despot and least like those of a lover, in fact marshal us where we should want to go if we knew what we wanted."

- C.S. Lewis

the reason the canadian government pretends to be environmentalists is because..

THEY WANT MORE GOATS!!!11!!1!!!1!1!1ONE!1!!!
- Courtnay

wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man

i'm in washington for new years and really the only people who will read this are the people with me anyway! woooo!

pienso que voy a salir de escuala y trabajar y despues voy a Azerbejian y Japan. pero no se como quiero trabajar. ay ay esta bien.

..

I had a well but all the water left so I'll ask Your forgiveness with every breath,
if there was no way into God,
I would never have laid in this grave of a body
So long, dear.

you might sleep, but you'll never dream

Like the clouds bring a darkness and a hard rain's gonna fall
and all my laughter ends in emptiness and a hard rain's gonna fall
my every medicine caused more illness and a hard rain's gonna fall
but until I let you go I didn't know, you were never mine at all
---
but now I spend my days in ever-increasingly complicated ways
convincing myself of the rightness of each word
I say
---
oh, pretenders, let's go down, let's go down
won't you come on down, oh pretenders, lets go down, down to the river and pray?
"But I'm so afraid," or "I'm set in my ways"
but he'll make the rabbits and rocks sing his praise
"oh, but I'm so tired, I won't last long."
No, he’ll use the weak to overcome the strong!

you strike the match
Why not be utterly changed to fire?
To sacrifice the shadow and the mist of a brief life you never much liked

We hunger,
but through all that we eat brings us little relief
we don't know quite what else to do, we have all our beliefs,
but we don't want our beliefs,
God of peace, we want You.

burned alive by time

so i'm about ready to drop out of college.

not because it's too hard, in fact i'm a freshman technically, my classes are really easy. i just hate going to class. every morning it's a battle to get out of bed and go to class. it's 10:03 pm here and i have a test tomorrow that i haven't studied for in a government class that i haven't gone to since the first test (except to take the second test which i found extremely easy) and i have a persuasive speech due tomorrow which i haven't touched at all. ultimately what do i want to do? i don't know. i think when i'm at my most joyful, most motivated, when i feel good about myself and my life i know i want to go into ministry. the only reason i'm even going to college in the first place is because it's harder to get a job without a degree, even in the ministry field. there's also a part of me that feels like if i didn't go to college i'd regret it someday. everyone goes to college. you're not credible if you don't. i really have no choice but to go to college. and i don't doubt that i'll be pleased when i graduate, despite being in debt tens of thousands of dollars. i just hate it.
i wanna disappear. i want to become a character in a book or a show, someone with tangible purpose. to be the main character in a story. right now i feel like there's a hole in me. a hole that i know can only be filled with love. but no matter how much i know that God loves me, my parents love me, my friends love me, i don't feel fulfilled. i know that God loves me, i know the power of his love, i've felt the power of his love, but for all my knowledge and understanding i don't feel or maybe truly understand this love right now.
my biggest fear while growing up has been rejection. i feel like i failed and have been rejected, and for all my effort, or all my desire to trust and have faith, i can't regain what was lost. apathy overcomes me and as i lay on my couch counting down the minutes until sleep once again offers an escape i feel like falling. like if i were at the top of a high rise building in new york how wonderful it would feel to fall and not feel anything else. i would wake up on my knees before Jesus apologizing through my tear soaked face for not being strong enough, for failing to get back up. don't get me wrong, i'm not contemplating suicide, i just would love to fall. i guess that's the feeling that sleep gives.
there is not one single doubt in my mind that Christ is Lord and everything he has ever said is true. i know too much to deny this fact. i couldn't disbelieve even if i wanted to, and believe me i have wanted to before. ignorance is bliss, i lack ignorance. my benediction is my curse. there is no satisfying facet of life outside of Christ. all i can do is die. not physically, but i must die more. more death to me, more life to Christ.

I held no power on my knees as Your vision of change hung over me.
Your light broke the silent skies
and tears of angels created a warm storm and my heart broke...
Like the cleaning of the clouds.
Arise oh God, tell me it’s not too late.
Hold me, guide me, love me.
I look to you Jesus…Christ.

seperate the widow from the bride

i went to a sweet concert last night. Nodes of Ranvier is the band, yeah probly none of you know them but they rock. hxc christian bands woo. they needed a place to stay and if my sisters weren't in town from Boston and Little Rock i definetly coulda hooked em up. oh well lame it was fun, tonight i'm gonna go see Showbread in concert probly. yex i needa post a picture of me dressed up like a hardcore kid. haha or a picture of me at all. my hair is brown not blue-black by the way.
i got skype working on my mac at home so i can talk to people there, and i ordered a new hard drive for my laptop and it should be in in the next 2 or 3 days so i can install that and it'll probly work on my laptop. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmk right

the longer i lay here

something i struggle with. accepting God's love. intellectually i know God loves me, i know he will always love me, and i know his love knows no limits. but i guess i feel like i always want to feel love. it reminds me of that Robbie Williams song that Rob Whittaker had us listen to at Capernwray. i know i won't always feel that love and i can't always feel that love, but that it's always there. i don't think there's some big spiritual thing i'm missing, or not doing, or just not thinking about. it was easy for me to accept God's love when i first realized that he loved me. then i screwed up, and it's much harder the second time around. i don't doubt Got's love, i just don't feel it. i don't think i always have to feel it though like i said, and maybe God doesn't want me to feel it right now. feelings are fleeting anyway. mmmm anyway i suppose it's just something God is trying to teach me and when i figure out how to listen i'll learn.


Robbie Williams - Feel
you may have to enter this link twice, the first time it may be like "visit our sponsors brides ru" or something really stupid like that, the second time it takes you to where you can dl it. unless you wanna order a russian bride

skype, that useless slut

i can't get skype to record my voice. i can hear other people talk no problem but i've tried two different headsets (i just bought a new one) and neither has worked. oh well i'm pretty pissed off at it, it might have something to do with my 64 bit operating system but i really don't think so since i've tried it on my friends laptop with the same mic and it didn't work. maybe it's my sound card but i doubt that too. however i do know other programs that do work if anyone ever wants to ;P

autumn

so i was walking back to my dorm from class through the rain today, about 5-10 minutes walk, and i was reminded heavily of mountain biking in the hills of England in the rain. mmm it was beautiful. i love walking through the rain, just in my normal clothes without a care in the world letting the rain pour down on me like some sweet refreshment to my soul. mm mountain biking in the freezing rain through the hills of england was probably one of the funnest (yeah yeah most fun) things i think i did all year. especially when you go to the top of a pseudo-mountain and look off into the endless rolling hills dominated by a never ending sheet of dark clouds. then race down the mountain in the rain drenched in an icyness that only enhances the experience. as much as you desire warmth you love the rush of freezing wind on your water soaked clothing as you try desperately to get back. haha then someone's tire went flat, i don't remember exactly who.. sorry :P but we had a fun time walking to a gas station, and i actually fixed a flat tire. like i patched it up it was pretty sweet i've never done that before heh.
yeh so anyway it's only 11 am but i'm done with classes today, time to go find some longsleeve shirts at my house, since i didn't bring any to my dorm (mmm it's so warm here hah to all of you in the cold northwest and cananadia). this song reminds me of today, i was just listening to it. it's one of my favorites.

Haste The Day - Autumn

red leaves blow in the wind
leaving home and everything it's known behind
barren branches wave goodbye
as the red leaves slowly die
every flower stares and watches
as the wind takes me away
before the sun shone upon me
now the wind takes me away
red leaves falling
through the branches
making their way to the ground
blowing by the flowers sleeping
no one knows the leaves are leaving

i love autumn, this time of year is awesome.

coming soon to a theater near you

yeah so i finally made one of these things. i guess i could start it with what i did this weekend. um well i was in an ultimate frisbee tournament, seeding games on saturday and tournament on sunday, we got second. i did alright. i'm pretty tired and sore, each game lasts over an hour, we played 6, 3 sat 3 sun, all in a row. yeh so i feel and am talking like i'm stoned. but i'm not of course. hangin out with too many people who sound stoned (ultimate frisbee players).
oh here's one of our ultimate cheers we do in a huddle during a time out or before a game or half or something. i'll censor it for the kids: "(1 person) ROCK OUT MOTHA ***** WITH YA **** OUT ***** (everyone else) DON'T START NO **** WON'T BE NO ****! (repeat all 3 times then yell) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.. YOU KNOW!"
it's been stuck in my head all day.

i've been reading this book called Blue Like Jazz. it's good and i recommend all ya'll in the northwest read it. ight whatever i'ma get back to doing nothing have fun readin this ya'll. courtnay let's go get mad crazy.